Lessons from a Lived Life Part 1, or Special Kind of Fool

I can’t stay, I can’t go,
You know you drive me crazy, and you keep keeping on
Treated me so cruel, it ain’t cool
It’s all right to be a fool, as long as I’m a fool for you
So do like you wanna, but baby don’t you leave,
I’ll take what you give me baby, just don’t leave please
Girl you are so special and I feel special too
But the major difference is, that I’m a special fool for you
(Special kind of)
Special kind of fool for you
I’ll do what you what me to do
(Special kind of)
Special kind of fool for you
(You are so special, baby)
…
I don’t ask any questions
Cause I’m afraid of the truth
It really don’t make no difference
Because I’m going to be right there for you
If you love me in the morning
You can miss it at night
Cause the kind of fool I am baby
Everything will be all right
–Special Kind of Fool, Basic BlackYa Brista loves this sad, melancholy kind of romantic bullshit, perhaps because it’s often an unfortunate reflection of my own romantic life. As we draw closer to Valentine’s Day, I find myself reflecting on the loves in my life and the lessons learned from each of them. First up…

The Military Man
Ya Brista’s mother died on December 30, 1999 and we had a major house fire on Valentine’s Day, 2000 that put my father in the burn unit. With our mother only just recently buried, and our father in intensive care, my sister and I had much to be sad about as we sat in our hotel room that Monday night, the smell of smoke still fresh in our nostrils. The next day (Tuesday), my good friend (and future ONYX brother) took me to The Wet to get my mind off my troubles.DC used to be such a fun place, and The Wet used to be part of that fun. Back in the day, in certain parts of the city, strippers could be completely naked. The Wet had a U-shaped bar with poles around which the strippers danced, as well as a shower in the back where they soaped themselves up for an adoring crowd. The combination of naked, oiled up manflesh and horny patrons created an intoxicating, sexually charged atmosphere, especially on Hot Chocolate Tuesday, which featured all Black and Latino dancers as well as patrons. It was into that heady soup of pheromones, cocoa butter, sweat, and cheap cologne that I came that night to forget my troubles, if only for one night.
Then He came up to me…The first thing I noticed was his skin; a smooth brown coating of Hershey’s chocolate that you just couldn’t wait to lick. He was beautiful to look at. His thick dark eyebrows stood out prominently above eyelashes so long they almost looked fake. His beautiful red lips parted to tell me his name and instantly, I knew where this was headed……and it sure as hell wasn’t to IHOP. He had just gotten out of the military a few days ago and had moved here to DC to find work. Since there was no need to bullshit about what was going to happen next, we headed back to my hotel. On the way, he held my hand as I drove.
We ended up at the same hotel when I was staying with my sister, and as luck would have it, the clerk put us in a room right next door. I was not pleased but I was going to fuck that boy one way or another! I had to say goodnight to my sister and let her know that I would be next door “catching up with an old friend.” When I opened the door to his room, he greeted me, face down, ass up……and it was on! We fucked all over that room and even knocked the headboard off the wall (it was a VERY classy hotel). Out of everything that we did that night, one moment stands out for me. I was kneeling behind him on the bed, tongue-deep in his beautiful, perfect little hole,…when he looked back at me over his shoulder and said…… “Daddy, I wanna feel you inside of me!” I almost nutted! There I was contemplating my luck at meeting such a cool brotha in the midst of my tragedy. He seemed smart and funny and we had spent the past 3 hours fucking. This hoe was spinning me right round, baby, right round like a record, baby, right round round round! Then he had to go and ruin it!“Daddy, is it ok if I invite a couple of friends over?” Hell no, it ain’t ok!Ya Brista was not pleased. Now, I am usually down with a little group action as a rule, but we’d just had a marathon fuck complete with all sorts of acrobatics and cumshots; Ya Brista was drained! Here I thought I had been auditioning the future ex-Mrs. Ya Brista, but alas, in my stressed state, I had mistaken lust and a REALLY good fuck for the beginnings of a relationship! Now, while Ya Brista was not stupid enough that night to believe it was time to head to Jared or start picking out colors (blush and bashful, of course!), but I WAS hoping he would turn out to be much more than just a piece of trade, and there was the Lesson to be learned: You can never turn a Hussy into a Husband!

Intoxicated by the atmosphere in The Wet, still fresh from grief, and stressed over the fire and its aftermath, I allowed my dick to do the thinking for me. I tried to turn a perfectly good fuck into something more, and even when he revealed his true self, I still hung on for a couple of weeks. When Ya Brista tells you that what you think is a relationship is really just an extended series of hookups, it’s not merely a cruel observation; it is based on hard lessons learned from my own life.

Next time you are in the club, or at Pride, or the gym, and you meet a hot piece of dick or ass, just remember my story. Let a good fuck stay a good fuck. Get what you need from the trade and keep it moving. Don’t try to make it more than it is. Don’t let good dick or good ass lead you astray!

Next week Lessons learned from Distant Lovers.