Dear Dominion

In addition to Dominion ONYX, The Kidz sometimes call me Mann Landers (google me, bitch!). Hoes are always asking me for advice, so this week, Ya Brista asked The Kidz to write if they needed advice on a topic that was troubling them…

Dear Dominion,

It’s the oldest story in the book: Boy meets boy. Boys fall in love, become committed, and set up house. Boy meets another Boy. Boy falls for new Boy. My question for you: is it possible to love someone else besides your soulmate? –Trying Not to Cheat in Trenton

Dear Trenton,Just kidding!

Ya Brista does not believe in this magical being known as A Soulmate. Hoes don’t conveniently fall into our lives and match all of our parts perfectly. Relationships take LOTS of…

…work. The work isn’t always the fun kind either. Work doesn’t always result in a protein facial and a tingly bootyhole. Work is talking about finances, sharing confidences, and growing together. Sometimes our eyes wander because of some problem in the relationship that we are unwilling or unable to address. You have to find a way to reconnect to your partner. Maybe adding a little…

…spice to the relationship may help. Fantasizing about another man is merely a short term distraction preventing you from addressing the problems you face. Sharing intimacies, even if they are non-sexual, with someone who is not your partner is a recipe for trouble that will only make whatever is missing in your relationship worse. Sit down and talk to your partner and discuss your feelings before you do something you may regret later.

Dear Dominion,

The other day I was on Adam4Adam, and this guy said he was looking for someone who wasn’t ‘Dirty.” I’ve actually seen it many times online and even heard people use it in conversation and have always been shocked. Why do some people refer to those who have HIV as dirty? – Appalled in Atlanta

Dear Appalled,

Let me put it down sharply.

When people call someone who is HIV+ ‘dirty’, what they are really doing is broadcasting their own ignorance and sexual practices. If you are planning to use a condom when you fuck or get fucked, then the HIV status of your sexual partner is somewhat of a moot point. It’s only if they plan to…

…that they are concerned about the status of their partner. Then they become some sort of sexual Sherlock Holmes who can divine whether someone is ‘clean’ or ‘dirty’ just by looking at them. Or they rely on the HIV status that people put in their A4A profile, because people NEVER lie on their profile, right?

The love of Ya Brista’s life was HIV+ and while I will admit that information gave me the slightest of pauses when I first met him in 2008, by the time we started dating 2 years later it was a non-factor. I fucked that boy every which way to Sunday, a fact to which my ONYX brothers and several friends can attest (Ya Brista likes a good loud bottom). I never thought of him as ‘Dirty’, and though our relationship ultimately did not last, it was not because of any concern over whether I would contract a virus from him.

In short, Appalled, pay those hoes Dust!

Dear Dominion,

It is ever ok to date someone who is not well-spoken or literate? – Curious in Kansas

Dear Curious,

Baby you can date whomever you want, but here’s the thing: over time, you are likely to get frustrated with his lack of knowledge. He is also going to get tired of your subtle and not-so-subtle attempts to educate him. If he expresses a desire to learn more, then you can help him, but only if he asks. Trying to change a person is one of the quickest ways to a broken heart. If the sex is good, then I say keep…

While you are whipping that thang on him, maybe you can listen to an audiobook or something!

Well, Kidz, that’s all we have time for this week! Feel free to write me with any questions you might have. Looking forward to hearing from you. Until then,

With Love, and a touch of Shade

Dominion