IML Adventures

Every year, my IML experience is a bit different. The first year I went, I was on the cusp of a relationship, so I decided to remain chaste, which was very hard, what with all the

Unfortunately, we all know how that worked out, so the following year, I was in a bit of funk, made all the more funky by all the gleefulgoing on around me, but by my third IML, I was completely free and unburdened, so I had a wonderful weekend of

I was optimistic for what was to come this year for IML, so for those of you who couldn’t make it, here is a recap of my IML experience. Get into it!

Friday

I arrived at Gate 14 to find Seven and Bitch Puddn already there. Seven, like me, is dressed for comfort, but was probably hiding a buttplug, which is why he seemed so happy at this ungodly hour. Bitch Puddn was giving understated elegance in 16-inch lace-up boots. Together, our look clearly saysWhen we got to the hotel, the taxi let us out right in front, and the smell of cigar smoke immediately washed over us. We were home! As we checked in, Marcellus, the guy at the Front Desk, seems SUPER friendly…I chose to assume a little from Column A and a little from Column B, since he had gayface. Anyhoo, off to change and head to the Leather Market.

An hour later, Aliyah Rose from Titanic Diana Ross Bitch Puddn is still unpacking and pulling together his 1:08pm – 2:37pm look, so I headed down to pick up my run package. I ran into ToyMaster and Texas Otter, my demo bottoms for Saturday and we are going to meet later this evening for a dry run. After perusing the market for a minute, I was about to head back to my room when I saw one of my Pornstar crushes, Armond Rizzo! Normally, Ya Brista doesn’t get too worked up over meeting famous people or even gay-famous people,but Ya Brista likes ‘em little, and Armond was short, all of 5’-3”, so I was immediately turned on! Of course he was surrounded by a wall of groupies, so there was no way I was getting any closer, but it just made me even hornier. Luckily, I was on my way to that dry run, which turned out well.ToyMaster was especially turned on by my new electrical gear. I eventually had to tie him down so we could finish the practice run. The Mylar flogger is EVERYTHING! I’m really getting into this violet want and electroplay stuff!

Later that night, I met cutie with red lips and a phat booty at the ONYX Meet and Greet who clearly wanted to get fucked. Everything was looking up for the evening, until he got a little too tipsy and became Drunk Sexy Girl.We have all met DSG before: that dude who drinks and gets super turned on, but is too tipsy to control himself. As Ya Brista is a gentleman, I will not give specifics on what transpired. I will just say that I was glad that Bitch Puddn showed up right on time for his 11:27PM costume change.

Saturday

Last night, they almost had to take me to the ER. I woke up in the middle of the night with this intense pain. It seems Ya Brista overdid it with his pre-IML diet and developed a bit of a tear “down there”. Hoes kept making jokes about Ya Brista becoming a fisting bottom, but WE ARE NOT AMUSED!! Here’s hoping a house will fall on their asses someday soon! On the upside, I’m almost down to my Adam4Adam weight, so there’s that!

Having sufficiently recovered with the aid of cocktails,and weapons-grade painkillers (Thanks Brutha Volt!), it was off to the People of Color Caucus for a light afternoon of shocking the shit out of sexy naked men.Mystryss Lilly gave a temperature play demonstrationThen Bitch Puddn SLAYED ThaKiddz with his 3:17PM costume change,and even DMark got in on the act.Later that night, it was time for the ONYX Dance. Ya Brista came ready with maximum slayage,Everyone had a wonderful time and we gave some great exposure to the Mr. Friendly campaign.

And then, a hush fell over the crowd as Bitch Puddn debuted his 12:03:46AM look…Exhausted from all the DRAMATIQUES, Ya Brista fell into bed with his date for the night!

Sunday

Although we had a wonderful time at Brunch, I am going to dash right over that to get to the main event, the IML contest.

ONYX was soooo proud to field four contestants this year: Mr. Southern Coastal States Leather 2014 J. Tebias Perry, Mr. DC Eagle 2014 Ramien Pierre, Mr. Southeast Leather Fest 2013 Raymond Walker, and Mr. Eagle NYC 2014 Cee Jay.As the contest began, we were casually on the edge of our seats. Just when we were all super excited that Ramien and Tebias made Top 20, and they both went and did us even better with the beautiful and powerful words that came out of their mouths. And then… How do I put this…?

It takes a lot to shock a room full of Leathermen, but I am not exaggerating as I tell you that when Ramien came out in his jock and gave them the entire six packs and the arm veins and shit,a hush fell over the crowd. When he turned around and showed us that backshot,there was an audible gasp from the crowd. We don’t call that him Top Dolla for nothing!

Slowly, inexorably, we wound down to the finale. His extended leather family in DC has known he had star quality from Day One. Seldom will you meet a smarter, more humble, and genuinely friendly and nice person wrapped up in an absolutely SICKENING package, and we knew it was only a matter of time before the rest of the world caught up, and yet… Remember when Barack Obama won the first time? Remember how, even though it was pretty much a foregone conclusion in our minds, it was still a surprise when they actually called the election? We collectively had that same feeling as Contestant #16 was announced as the new International Mister Leather.The rest of the evening was a blur of tears, a slight bit of disbelief, more tears, a little hysterics, laughter, cocktails, and finally, more tears, and as much as I was focused on our collective success, something else amazing happened… I got to meet Tyler McCormick, IML 2010.Honestly, I don’t know that I had any expectation of what he would be like in person, but he was very kind and sexy as hell. I mean, I actually had to stop looking at him for fear he might think I was crazy. I thought I was the only one until Bitch Puddn and I got the chance to talk about it on Monday in the middle of his 7:46AM costume change.

Monday

Cocktails, hugs, kisses, shopping, food, and then the Black and Blue Ball. The foolishness that went on in that place deserves a post all its own. All I will say is that if you ever come for IML, you would want to stay until Tuesday for the Ball, and it ain’t because of the music!

Tuesday

3:45am came too quickly, considering I had just laid my head on the pillow 45 minutes prior, but for some reason, when I bought the ticket, I thought it would be a good idea to catch the 7am flight back to DC. I won’t be making that mistake again. Bitch Puddn was already up for his 3:47am costume change. I hugged him as I packed the last of my things away, including the program from the contest, and a fresh wave of joy washed over me as I remembered anew…We love you Ramien!