The Kidz Got Gouped, or Never Trust a Red Cape and a Smile!


shade detecting

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for this Special Report. Now reporting from DC, here is your Brista and mine, Dominion ONYX.

Thanks Kweeta!

I’m standing here at Reagan National Airport as the last stragglers return from the Inferno Dominican Republic event with exhausted buttholes, rubbed-raw dicks, and drained bank accounts, with only huge bills from Visa, MasterCard, and American Express to show for their efforts. Because they live with their mothers, or their wives and girlfriends think they went to visit family down south, many of them have asked not to be photographed or filmed. Despite inflamed penises and tender rectums…


…the attendees all reported having a wonderful time. For those who might do such a trip in the future, they all have three words of advice:


For those of you who do not know, about 24 hours before the event was scheduled to occur, participants were notified via THE MOST basic of bitch methods, Facebook, that the event was postponed. Thus began The Goup!


For those of you wondering how one can cancel a major destination event less than a day before it began, I will remind you of the words of the returning participants:

transparentInferno began four years ago when the kidz took their Labor Day whoring global, having left their DNA all over Cheshire Bridge Road and Piedmont Park.



Participants from previous years report having a grand ole time, with welcome committees at the airport and chauffeured car service. Given the track record of previous years, participants had no reason to expect The Goup that went down. Although…

And now comes the time in our program for just a TOUCH of…


Hindsight being 20-20, your Brista is here to tell you that the clues were there that this was not going to be the fabulous event the kidz were hoping for, starting with images for the event.


thronedeconstructThe theme of the event was The Royal Service, but with these fake-ass crowns, candy scepters, and wicker furniture, the only thing paying customers got was Royally Screwed, and not in the good way that ends with you birthing out the future King of England.

thronesbyeNow let’s talk about how people paid for the trip. This year, Inferno DR offered the “convenience” of a package deal where you paid a single price for “…accommodations, excursions, and even airfare…”


Now your Brista has put together several conventions. The very first time, I offered attendees a similar convenience and almost lost my mind trying to keep everything straight, and this was for a convention of straight people in Minnesota. Imagine the logistics and foolishness of trying to do that with a group of homos trying to be Foreign Land Grand! Hell to the Naw!


This lets me know right there that The Goup was no accident. The proof is in the fact that none of the attendees had confirmed reservations when they arrived. This ain’t your Brista’s first time at the rodeo. Funky Dineva reports that the hotel never received promised payments in May or June and the owner of the event was notified in June that the event would not happen because said payments had been missed. Now let me ask you a question… What do you call a shady individual who finances his lifestyle through the perpetration of one or more frauds?


Even if the event was cancelled, there is no legitimate reason why the portion of the package that went to the hotel should not have been paid to the hotel, UNLESS you were pulling a stunt! Speaking of stunts, let’s get a little deeper into the payment arrangements. Peep this…


Ummmmmm… NO! What you have just described is not financing. Financing is when you get your shit upfront in exchange for a promise to pay later based on your good credit. You finance the purchase of a car or a house. What is described above is a layaway plan.

look it up madonna

The only thing that was financed was whatever the hell Darvin Williams purchased with your muthafuckin money! Despite the stunts and the drama, Ronald Matters reports that the kidz ended up having a wonderful time, for which we are all very happy. I can only imagine the shock and then anger of the participants at having been taken advantage of in such a manner, and while I have reserved most of my shade for the perpetrators of this fraud, I have one question for the participants…

Gurl, why in all that is good and holy did you get your ass on a plane without a confirmation from the hotel? Don’t you ever do that shit again! Any REPUTABLE establishment or organization will give you a confirmation, mainly to protect their own interests. So next time you travel somewhere, I don’t care if it’s the Megabus to NYC, make sure you get confirmation numbers, print it out, and bring it with you!


As the throb from the weekend’s events fade from your loins, and you jack off to the memories…


… just remember that your Brista always has your back. Reporting from the airport, this is Dominion ONYX. Back to you, Kweeta.

Thanks, Brista. Next week, Dominion will be back with his regularly scheduled readings for filth, gaggings, goings in and letting have, and general shadiness! You can reach him on Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.

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