GIF Tales, or The Definition of a Freak: Lost in Translation

I have observed over the years that the reason ThaKiddz are attracted to Leathermen is our honesty. If Ya Brista tells you, “I’m gonna stretch your hole wide and piss inside you,” well, you know exactly what you are getting. There is none of this foolishness about “hanging out” or meeting up to “chill”. Unfortunately, that honesty often leads to disappointment when we Leathermen deal with guggles (gay muggles = non leather/kinky folks). There is nothing more disappointing than going to someone’s house with a full bladder and they direct you to the bathroom.

Ya Brista has learned that interacting with ThaKiddz requires you to read between the lines and discover the true meaning of their words. With that in mind, I present to you the first of many installments of… GIF Tales! Let’s get into it!

Over the Independence Day weekend, I took a trip down to ATL to spend some time with my extended ONYX family. Friday morning, I was awakened to the buzzing of my phone. I had a message on Jack’d…01 - wassup

02 - hruIt was bright and early on the 4th of July (11:45 AM) and I was not ready for such heavy conversation. Still, being the gentleman I am, I replied…03 - good04 - mind

“Just chillin’,” he said. Now, Ya Brista had been down this road so many times that he has an EZ Pass, yet knowing where this road was headed, I responded anyway.05 - me206 - wkndThe spelling error did not go unnoticed, but I decided to overlook it for the moment.07 - meetLike I said, I knew where this road was headed, but what the hell, I was in Hotlanta, and Ya Brista has needs! “So what are you into?” he queried. It was as if he was reading from a script! Well, the show must go on…08 1 all“What about you?” I asked.09 nextlevelprince sideeyeAs I rolled my eyes, he continued…10 freakAs I said, I’d been to this play many times before, so I knew his code. He didn’t give a shit about the watersports, the toys, the nipple play, or whatever. Let me translate for you:

Into that next level shit

I’m looking for a threesome (or better yet, a gangbang)

I’m a true freak

I like it raw

A submissive bttm

I LOVE for guys to cum inside me

Looking for a Dom Top

You can smack my ass while you are fucking me, but don’t get crazy!

To turn me out

Can you get five of your friends to fuck me, too?

You see, Ya Brista has heard these same lines, or variations thereof, so often that what happens next is also part of the scene. I show up, with my toys, my paddles, and a full bladder and before the door is even closed good…quickieNow don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m NOT gonna fuck you, but if that was all you were looking for, you should have just said so. Anyhoo, back to our story…

This dude is all hot and wants to come over immediately, but I have shit to do during the day, so I told him he could meet me at the Eagle later. That got him really excited, and why wouldn’t it? He would be amongst all the other true freaks. He started talking about how he couldn’t wait to put on his leather and how he would love to spend the entire day in naked service to me, just doing whatever I asked. He said he would clean my hotel room, shine my boots, and service my boys and me. He was saying some of the right things, so I was cautiously optimistic that he might not be a fake or a flake after all, but I had to be sure; I decided to test him.

“When you arrive at the Eagle, you should look for me,” I told him. “It won’t be hard to find me, and when you see me, you should kneel in front of me with your face to the ground and wait for me to acknowledge you.”

There was no answer for the longest time, then he replied “But everyone will see me!” I knew then he was full of shit. “Who cares?” I asked. “It’s a leather bar. You said you wanted to be in service to me and my boys, well it starts tonight.” He seemed turned on by my aggressiveness and the prospect of what was to come. Ya Brista was still reserving judgment, but also imagining a tight booty hottie cleaning the tub while I was stretching his hole.

Fast forward to that night at the Eagle. I was outside on the lower patio about to do an electro demo, when I see him. He is wearing a track suite with no underwear,tracksuitits fabric barely containing the delectable mounds of his ass. Contrary to what he had said earlier, he had on no leather, instead, he looked ready for some easy access fucking, Piedmont Park-style.parkHe came and stood close to me, but never said or did anything. In fact, he never spoke or even acknowledged that he’d sent me pictures of his uterus earlier in the day, so after a time, I just walked away.thisdispleasesmeYa Brista does not play these games with ThaKiddz anymore; I’d learned my lesson long ago. Five minutes later, I spied him in the corner chatting with a group of true freaks, and within moments, it was clear that they were all into that next level shit. Good for them, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I was happily spanking young cuties and fingering ThaKiddz in the bathroom. Luckily, I had put no real effort into making that hookup happen, so I wasn’t even surprised when I logged on later to find he’d blocked me.notafuckThus ends our first GIF Tale!

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